Do we need encouragement to date?
August 20th, 2010 | 
Author: Pity our young and eligible Singaporeans.
They just can’t do something on their own and now I am beginning to think that they have lost the plot in life. From childhood to adulthood they are guided by parents, by teachers, by government. Now, having reached the nubile stage of life, they need one more nudge to overcome this final hurdle in life – getting hitched.
Someone asked me the other day if I had seen MCYS’s latest tender for an advertisement and concept to encourage young Singaporeans to date. Well, I did not but that did not stop me from rolling out my disgust and reservation in this issue. In fact my initial reaction was, “Again?”
First thing first. Do we really need encouragement to go on a date or to date someone whom we like?
Do we? Does it not sound absurd or even humiliating to an elderly adult to require “external” encouragement to initiate a date? And thereafter do we need to tell him what to say or how to behave during a date? Sounds like a scene from ‘I, robot!’
Look, the last I read, dating someone is a natural proclivity in life. We don’t need parents or friends and most of all, an advertisement to goad us into this initiative. I mean isn’t it obvious or sheer common sense that if we fancy someone, we want to get to know the person more and the decent way to do it is a date. Since when has this initiative of life disappeared from our social radar?
Or is someone out there suggesting that Singapore guys don’t know what is a date or how to date? In case I am so absent-minded, we are in the Internet age not the Stone Age.
All right if an advertisement or for that matter a concept is created and coined, so what? Do we expect 10,000 couples flocking all over Orchard Road or Marina Bay every Saturday night? Will a concept really change and encourage a guy to jump on the bandwagon of dating? Doesn’t sound like it.
So after dating, then what next? Another concept to help us produce more babies?
Honestly, I am not a prophet of doom to creative ideas to help the thousands of singles out there. Some may need genuine help to get hitched while others are just resigned to singlehood for life. Dating afterall is a very personal matter and nobody can force you to go on a dating spree however tantalising such a concept can be.
But if we need to encourage a guy to date a girl, then there is a bigger problem we have not seen in our backyard. Every guy knows how to date but why are they not doing it. Think about it.
And if guys and girls do not want to get hitched because of so many uncountable reasons, there is really nothing much society can do to change the mindset. Creating condusive ambience and policies may help but that is about all anyone can do to change the landscape.
Instead of a national publicity stunt, we should look into why Singaporeans, especially the guys, are shying away from the ladies. Is it because the ladies are better educated, more refined, more successful? Are the guys suffering from inferior complex and the ladies from unrealistics secular expectations? Are we promoting too much of the 5C concept?
Frankly getting two persons together is never easy, almost impossible and given the countless of singles hanging around Singapore and the divorce rates, it may take an act of God to bring about such a union.
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Blame the miws for this. Singaporeans have been so badly brainwashed into thinking that anything good can only come from them until they don’t even know if it is okay to ask someone they like out for a date without government approval.
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Not forgetting, how to have sex too!
Isn’t it the same as those escort agencies?
It is also an opportunity for perverts make use of these dating policy as a cover up for prostitution as they can say they are trying to find a compatible partner by dating different partners?
As most of the younger generations has been brought up by maids, everything had to be prepared for them, and there are no more moral value in Singaporeans nowadays.
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the writer said:
“… if guys and girls do not want to get hitched because of so many uncountable reasons, there is really nothing much society can do to change the mindset…”
–> which is precisely the point of this new media campaign, to change society’s mindset. what is society? essentially people, us, you, me etc. one way of reaching out to society is through the media, hence this campaign.
–> at least we should be glad that MCYS acknowledges implicitly they don’t have the necessary skill sets internally as an organization to come up with a cutting edge creative campaign, so they toss it out to the private sector. kudos to them here.
“… we should look into why Singaporeans, especially the guys, are shying away from the ladies. Is it because the ladies are better educated, more refined, more successful? Are the guys suffering from inferior complex and the ladies from unrealistics secular expectations? Are we promoting too much of the 5C concept?…”
–> a good media campaign would be able to wake the collective consciousness of society to reflect on these issues mentioned. it may not lead to change overnight, but at least it will (if successful) spark off discussion on how to address these issues. if someone of Goebbels’ caliber were running the campaign, the end result would be people convinced of their moral obligation to go forth and multiply (and everyone else who disagrees would be inducted into labour camps, but i digress…)
–> put yourself in the MCYS’ shoes: do you do nothing, hope for the best and pray to G/g/od(s) for a miracle improvement in birthrates? or at least try something to make things better?
if government’s no.1 priority is improving the birth rates, then they should focus on 2 things: 1. giving singaporean workers more time (no more work/show face till 9pm bullshit) and 2. putting more disposable income into the workers’ pockets (so they can afford to date goddamit)
but old man lee already said it, our no.1 priority is strong economy to support strong SAF.
so long as they stick to that, there is little hope to see improvements in birthrates. and we’ll continue to be stuck with immigrants to ‘top up’ the local head count.
and they WILL stick to that as long as 66% keep voting for them.
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Sinkies have themselves to blame for permitting a one party rule for 50 years. Now they are paying the price. If they don’t wake up now, they will all sure die. Vote for a 2 party system.
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there is no where on this good earth that has a perfect country and society
anybody here ….
I can better my bottom dollar that everyone has committed a crime before including white lie to cheating (big or small)
when we point one finger at them we are pointing the rest of the 4 fingers at ourselves
instead of whining m
go out and do something
help the ruling party or help the opposition party for a cause that you believe in
we cannot all the time blame everyone and anyone
you are telling me
you are not in control of your own life
stop talking about other singaporean like they are brain dead and you are the only alive with brains
the fact that singaporeans are where we are today is
a choice we made (conciously or unconciously)
so please dont put us down
we just do not have a better solution
sure there will be mistakes and problems along the way
if we can do a better job, please step up and do our fellow singaporeans a favour
stop criticising others because we are only demonstrating our very own weaknesses
sigh … when will we ever learn
our mortal destiny is in our hands
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MIW will pass this into law;
Inspectors will be patrolling in schools, malls and other entertainment center.
Should they feel that one party (guy or gal) is interested and have made a pass, but the receiving party is not interested, the inspectors will step to issue a verbal warning.
If both party insist of not hooking up (or going steady), a fine of $130 will be imposed on both parties.
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Next time,PAP will hand out a manual to teach “daft” Singaporeans on how to mate.
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picknose, thanks for telling us what you pick snot out of noses for a living even though it is all of us here would rather NOT know about it. I’ve got a much better idea: instead of flinging the snot you pick out of noses around, why not put it where it rightfully belongs i.e. in your mouth?
TR is only telling everyone WHAT the government has done WRONG. We the people have the RIGHT to know all these so that we can decide if we can still trust them to run the country after ALL these BLUNDERS. My personal opinion is NO, but then again, I know ho to think for myself, and I KNOW that what the government has done in recent years is definitely WRONG.
Pity YOU don’t know this; but then again, you do pick snot out of people’s noses for a living which is how you got your name, right?
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“Every guy knows how to date but why are they not doing it. Think about it.”
Just thinking the uncertainty of job security, cost of housing and bringing up a child all interests is LOST. Better be single than end up divorce later more expensive. Money is mostly the root caused. Divorce in Singapore guys always the LOSER no thanks to the Women Charter.
Ask the bridegroom what they know about the Charter when he said “I do” in the ROM most know nuts about it. By the time they knew it too late.
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MM Lee had remarked that his Pro Alien Party government intends to control every aspect of the lives of Singaporeans.
Whether it is the past policy of “Stop at 2″ policy or getting graduates to marry only their own kind to produce intelligent beings.
So young Singaporeans are confuse who to date and who to marry.
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The govt is doing this to combat falling birth rates. But that’s not the reason we have falling birth rates, is it??
On the contrary, i think Sinkees are VERY VERILE. You see old men hand-in-hand with young PRCs. You see youngsters making out like rabbits in staircase landings and open areas. You see married people having affairs. But where are the babies?? This is a question the PAP should ask itself.
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aiya live your lives la. u want to marry, marry la, u want to be single be single lah. if the policies and systems dun work for u , leave lah.
I like their attitude of importing younger foreigners coz of the the greying population issue. I think all the nations in the world should adopt this way of correction. Good fixes. As usual solution focused and action oriented.
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Next thing they may do is to legislate the whole thing. Whoever is not dating will be fined and thrown into jail forever!
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I need my mother involved in everything I do lah. I need her to helping me complain that I need to attend YOG. I rather go home early and sleep. I also need her help to get me married one day. The sex part I don’t need her help. I can watch porn online and study myself.
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It is a Asia/Singapore/Chinese problem. I was born in the late 70s and I am quite sure many many people of my generation had the same experience as me. Parents and/or grandparents telling us when we were in school “Don’t date now, spend more effort studying, next time get good job, make big money, girls will flock to you!”
What happens is, once started working (in Singapore), there is almost no time to date! I had worked in Singapore for 2 years before becoming a “quitter” and my experience of dating in Singapore is there is hardly any time. Weekdays work long hours, eat and then go home and sleep. No time left in a weekday to date. So only time left is weekends. Dating 1 or 2 days out of a week? Not very useful is it?
Another problem with Singapore is, most people live with their parents until they got married. So it is not that romantic to take someone home, as there will be many pairs of eyes watching (Parents, siblings and sometimes grandparents and maid). It feels more stressful than romantic.
I find that, after becoming a ‘quitter’, dating is much easier. First, I only need to work the hours required as in the contract. There is usually no need to work extra hours. That means something like 8 hours work, 8 hours sleep and 8 hours left over. I can see someone I am dating almost everyday.
Then there is the advantage of having my “own” place, no matter if it is a room in a hall, a room in a shared student flat or a small stand alone studio apartment. That is somewhere to take someone back to without all the extra eyes watching and extra mouth talking. A further advantage is there is no such thing as “no opposite sex” rules in the rooms of the halls overseas and they are all single rooms. So you do not even have the school saying you cannot take someone back nor do you have the eyes of your room mate watching you.
Of course there had been lots of talk about the stress caused to a person by just being in Singapore, where got mood to date? So there is no need to talk about that.
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To do also wrong, don’t do also wrong. What is right then? Has the writer forgotten that it takes all sorts of people to make a world or one type of rice feeds many types of people? We must try every way possible to motivate and encourage couples to get hitched. There are many ways and not your ways alone.
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The whole point of this is to increase birth rates but why increase birth rates? So that we can have more people in the work force, so that tax and CPF contributions can increase, so that the economy can again fuel the rich and suppress the poor, so that governments can live the lifestyle they’re so accustomed to, so that our PM can have a $3mil paycheck at the end of the year… the list goes on..
The monetary system is headed for collapse. This is the trend of all first world countries. Let’s make more money! Let’s increase the income gap! We’re all guilty of this. We need to pull away from the system. Our lives cannot be determined by what car we buy, how nice our home is, whether we have the latest iphone etc.. Society is going to shits.. when churches start buying over malls/convention halls and the poor and starved are dying, how can we say we have evolved from the stone age? How can we say we are a civilised people?
I’m obviously ranting out of point, and at this moment, I can’t provide a solution.. but I’m searching for change and it can only happen if everyone starts questioning. I’m sure I’m preaching to the converted but stop voting for the PAP and make a change, even if you have no confidence in the opposition, it starts with a small change and then, revolution.
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FREEDOM
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Uniquely Sink-A-Poor, pappy paradise bar none.
All aspects of your life are to be micromanaged.
Remember SDU+SDS, and Romancing Singapore?
***
Also, why procreate? At the very least, don’t raise your kids in Singapore. It’s child abuse.
Don’t produce more slaves for the regime. Don’t let your kids endure a lobotomy called ‘MOE education’, then step on the ‘Cheaper, Better, Faster’ treadmill with no retirement in sight.
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Forcing people to get married?
That is like waking up every morning, seeing a ugly women sleeping next to you. What a nightmare !!!
Married this kind of things how can force want ???
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Encourgement, also need Govt. stamp of approval
Our Govt. arrangement is Graduate Men must married Graduate Women.
MM Lee said:”I don’t understand why Graduate Men married down”
MM Lee said:”Graduate males DNA and Graduate females DNA produce bright kids” (errh does it means average Cracker people should stay single? b’cos their offspring will be a burden to our society?)
Sometimes, there is “a nature freak” a taxi male & a hawker female produce a bright kid.
MM Lee:”through my observation, no matter how much tutition he/she received he/she can only get a pass-grade
Conclusion:”Encouraged couples to date are only mean for Graduates”
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Most parents had no problem with the girls you date lor
As long as you always bring home “girls next door look”
I guess the like what they see, sweetie pie, demure, polite
Like Song Hye Kyo, Sandra Bullocks, Meg Ryan, Son Ye-jin, Gou-jing, Drew Barrymore, 郭靜 Guo Jing…sure get stamp of approval want
Maybe our Govt. should create more of these types of girls
Mass production
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LKY was always a fan of eugenics and social engineering. The same policies which, incidentally, Hitler also loved to dabble with.
For all the ‘good genes’ talk, LKY managed to get an Albino grandkid. And most of his family members (both males and females) look like someone whom you would not want to touch with a 10-feet pole, much less date. If you want to marry into money there are many better-looking alternatives.
Again, so much for LKY’s rhetoric of ‘good genes’.
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This is just another mode of distraction to keep you guys away, especially the 20-30 age group from building and hitting up the YOG screwed ups issues. MIW SOP!
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This is just typical of the short sighted “fixes” this government uses. Just like making car ownership too expensive to drive people to public transport without first making sure the public transport can cope with the existing load even, let alone the added load of ex-drivers.
The ridiculous cost of living here and lack of job security is the cause of Citizens not wanting to get married and have kids, yet these million dollar MIW are putting another million dollar plaster on the bullet hole without first removing the bullet and mending the hole.
To make things worse! They flood our job market with foreigners giving us even more stress and raising the cost of living here even further! This “fixes” the problem??? REALLY???
Why are they taking million dollar salaries, claiming to be the best, when all they are giving us are 3rd rate “solutions” that aren’t even worth a dollar cause they simple do not address the problem???
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writer mention guy shying away from dating a girl. i believe the true fact on the ground is girl shying away from being dated by a guy they feel that is beneath them or will not give them the 5C in life.
Woman should serve NS!
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the problem is not with dating
a lot of graduates now wan to marry but there are no flats available
to solve birth rate problem …. PAP and mah bow tan shld build the better and cheaper flats at faster rate . …
instead of wasting money on YOG ,,, or these stupid campaign
they are not doing their job…..
no flats…
no marraige …
no families….
no babies…
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Aiyoh,better go date women now man otherwise PAP grovelment will fine you like they fine people for not paying TV licence! Somemore they may bring you to court leh.
But actually PAP can use the following methods to encourage our bachelors mah like:
1.Make them watch porno movies in Uni and SAF(under Rear Admirer Liu)
2.Organise sex trips to Geylang and force the men take “practical lessons”(PRC standing types also can)
3.Offer tax rebates for “top performers”
4.Make “Kamasutra” a compulsory subject for admission to JCs (prepare them young lor)
5.Subsidize all Sex toys (for men to practise )
Any more,anyone?
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Actually, I think a smarter approach will be as follows:
1) Marrying before NS — 6 months reduction in NSF
2) Baby before NS — 6 more months of NSF reduction
Marry — 5 years reduction in NS reservist
Baby — 5 more years of NS reservist reduction each.
Problem simply solved!
Mit bessen Gruessen,
Tama Ma
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PAP will always be our favorite screwing partner.
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@robert
Not to be interpreted as having an axe to grind, I think MMlee was quoted as http://www.temasekreview.com/2010/08/16/lee-kuan-yew-a-strong-government-crucial-to-sinagapores-continued-success/
A strong government, is crucial to Singapore’s continued success. There is no need for a media campaign to “instill” a new societal mindset. A strong government is the cure-all.
However, a strong government is not the panacea when it comes to flood management, since a strong government can only be helpless when it comes to acts of God. Though one is curious, since rain, weather and flood are events that can occur with human intervention and explained scientifically. At least we know who is better with damage control when it comes to flooding since there was an article about how bad the opposition would handle when there is a flood. Also a strong government can sometimes be caught off guard when it comes to housing supply, or that its citizens were complacent, but I digress.
A strong government is one that can enforce a “stop at two” family planning policy. It should then also be able to enforce a increase the birth rate policy or “Don’t stop at two” policy.
However if a strong government, is not able to persuade its citizenry to increase their birth rate. Going by logical interpretation, it leads one to assume that the continued success of Singapore, has nothing to do with the birth rates. Or that the present government is not strong enough, which in itself is even more worrying. Since the continued success of Singapore depends on the level of “strongness” if there even is such a term.
However hard I try to think of the necessary conditions of dating leading to marriage and then being some statistical numeral in the birth rates, I seem to be hitting an impasse. There isn’t one. A married couple could stay childless for a number of reasons. A dating couple could be cohabiting and have no intention of getting married and having children. Therefore is it in the best interests of any party concerned to connect the dots? Essentially, what is required, more married couples that start having children or just more children or to increase the population size of Singapore?
But if it is to increase the population size, i wonder if there are ample steps taken to decrease the amount of deaths? If one cannot increase the birth rate, medical science might work wonders bringing down death rates. I reckon a strong government should be able to bring down death rates so that the overall population would not dwindle.
Upon reflecting on the quote “A strong government is crucial to Singapore’s continued success”, do I realize how impudent i am to have these concerns.
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Our Govt. like “the girl next door” type of girls
Stamp of approval, 很听话…很听话 very obedience girl
在樹上唱歌+郭靜+ (got the girl next door, look) always postive, happy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuhW63KBRN4&feature=related
Meg Rayn (got the girl next door, look) always postive, happy, smile
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2ACWi-Jm-o
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too much social engineering! Agreed with Robert (20 Aug) that the fundamental issues of time available, money and leisure should be addressed first rather than intruding into people privacy. Is our educational system too strees up for young people to have some leisure life and dating?? Is the drive to achieve hig economic competitiveness and to score high on Newsweek ranking of economic dynamics working against dating and having babies??
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what’s the purpose of such a campaign? getting more ppl to date doesn’t solve the low fertility issue, want to solve the problem hit the roots pls
our clueless leaders hvn’t got or refused to acknowledge the roots of the problem
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trying to date while making a living is like trying to stay afloat while enjoy the beauty of the blue sky.
our society has so much expectations and ladies are forever in searching for their ideal men even though they are less than ideal themselves.
the root of the all these problems are EXPECTATIONS. if everyone is willing to take a step back and start breathing, everyone will have time to enjoy life and start thinking about family.
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The government is not even trying in the housing section? I am been trying/planning to get a flat for 1 year plus. Lost 4 BTO exercises already, I just lost BTO number 5 yesterday, Didnt get to choose in any of the exercise… Mr Mah system failed so badly and no one seems interested to fix the problem.
With some of these issues still there… You need more than Encouragement to make people date. Let alone get married. Surprisely, the government still questioning on the birth rates…
Like what clueless mentioned, the government should attack the roots of the problem.
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It seems that guys is being shot for not dating. Maybe we can list out a few points as to why guys are not dating.
Gals nowadays looking for guy that earn $xxxxx per month before they even want to accept a date from another guy (Fact from some gals I talk to). If a guy do earn the expected requirement set by the gal, they are probably either too busy or have more options to the type of gals they are looking for (Fact from guys I talk to).
Gals are expecting extremely high requirements from the guys they are looking for, but they are not living up to the expectations of the guy they wished for. In this I am not referring to the looks or appearance, more characters and personalities wise.
The root of the problems may lies with, we are brought up to reach for the materialistic goals in our life. As long as the other party, especially the guy, do not have all the 5Cs or 7Cs, you can go fly kite.
Gals nowadays are not looking for love anymore, they looking to what you can provide so they do not have to work to hard in life and still have what they want in life, especially the luxury things in life.
Lastly, just as an old sayings goes, Guys always holding on the shorter end of the stick. So it may not be all guys fault that younger generation are not looking out for dates or settling down, but the people around us that are having all these materialistic goals. I am not saying they are bad, just not healthy as a society.
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Anyway since when MAH is ever interested in fixing any problems, he probably create more than to fix them. He is only there to bring in more money for HDB, problems, tat is your problems.
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