I’m Not An Elite But Can You Vote For Me?
October 14th, 2010 | 
Author: 
Aunties and uncles, brothers and sisters, ladies and gentlemen, my future bosses, I stand before you for you examine me, for you to decide if I qualify for this job. I’m applying to represent you in parliament and I thank you for your kind attention and consideration.
Why?
The reason I did not die from my heart attack is because my job ain’t done. I need to make a difference before I die. A difference for the better before bitterness sets in. I need to stop the madness, the plasticity that’s engulfed Singapore. I need to add meaning to the lives of those I can touch, the constituents I live with.
Truth be told, I need to survive. Last I heard, the salary of a MP is almost $17,000 a month. I have been out of work for a few years now and I need a job badly. As most employers do not want to employ near-60-year-olds like me and as I do not wish to compete with other carton and aluminium can collectors to survive, I have just dug into my meager savings and borrowed the rest of $13,500 (deposit to contest) from my dear friends and relatives to apply for this MP position. I’m just like a foreign domestic help or foreign worker who borrow much to get a job here! As nothing ventured nothing gained, I hope you can understand my sense of adventurism.
I have considered my personal qualification and I know I may not have the political experience required for the job. However, neither did the MIW in 1959 nor the current batch of ministers who came into politics through the back-door-walked-over GRCs. I hope you will give me a break and cut me some slack. Honestly, I do not know what kind of MP I would be when you vote me in. But for sure,
- I’ll stick by my national pledge “to build a democratic society based on justice and equality so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress” for you and me.
- I know I’m not powerful enough to “fix” my opposition or rich enough to “buy your votes”.
- I won’t be insulting you with derogatory remarks like, “daft” and “complacent” and have “spurs stuck in your hinds”.
- I will not make a mockery of nation building and national service by rubber stamping “aye” in parliament to pay minsters the obscene million dollar salary to prevent them from being corrupted.
- As I’m not your pimp, I will not urge you to work “Cheaper, Better and Faster”.
- As much as I need your support, I will not degrade myself by saying something stupid like “the world will be heaven if everybody’s wife is like yours” when your wife dies.
- As I will be serving you, you will be my Boss. Rest assured that I won’t be calling you “lesser mortals”.
I have no party manifesto as manifesto is not worth the toilet paper it is written on when it’s just plain hype. (Unless the toilet paper is of the same quality used by Mas Selamat for his great escape). I mean how can we “stay ahead and move together” when a request for an increase for public assistance for the poorest of the poor is answered with, “How much do you want? You want them to have three meals in restaurant, food court or hawker centre?” (But, but much to our surprise and disbelief, overspending hundreds of millions on YOG is money well spent!). Just where is the sense of proportion?
Does the last increase in GST meant to help the poor ended up helping ministers to become millionaires contribute to “Staying Together Moving Ahead”?
You will get your money’s worth when you vote me in. As I have no other high-flying job or directorship like most current MPs, I’ll be working full time for you.
- I will be your MP and not a rubber stamp. That means I’ll speak out for you.
- Working full-time, I’ll spend more time with you. I’ll be meeting you more often than the Once-A-Month-See-My Subordinate-First-Meet-The-People-Session that’s currently practiced because my office is situated in your constituency and I’m working full-time.
- Telling it like it is, because I BTC (Bo Tak Chek=No Read Book), I may be lacking in certain areas but I will get help. Examples:
- If you have financial or economic query that is beyond me, I’ll ask Kenneth Jeyaratnam or Leong Sze Hian to help.
- If you have legal problem which I cannot help, I’ll ask my ex-NMP Botak or Ravi to help.
- If you want to practice democracy and human rights, I can get advice from the Chee siblings.
- If you have insurance or investment issues, we can get in touch with Tan Kin Lian.
You may be asking what I’m good for then as your MP? Not much I guess. But are you getting as much value from your current MIW MPs?
The difference is I am working full time and I’m not another rubber stamp in parliament 
Oh, knowing their style, before I get demonised by my opposition, I’d like to confess that I was a slippers stealer when I was a kid. I was also charged a couple of times for not following stupid orders during my NS days in late 60’s.
Now that I have come clean, can you please vote for me?
My friends, I need the job badly and I hope you will give me a majority when election comes. But if you think I’m not good enough to be your MP, I can understand. I can be a “cheaper, better and faster” collector of paper cartons and aluminium cans.
But at least give me one-eighth of the votes so that my deposit of $13,500 won’t be forfeited. I do not wish to jump MRT track due to my $13,500 indebtedness.
Thank you.
by feedmetothefish
Posted in Snippets
I will vote for u…
In fact, I will vote in ANY OPPOSITION so long as they are opposition…
Be it a cockroach or lizard or anything…
Our country has been betrayed and taken over from within by foreign trash…
It is time to FORCE A CHANGE IN PARLIAMENT or else Singaporeans will become extinct !!!
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Good article.
U hav ours 4 votes.
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Surely vote for you. By the way, can we have your details? Name, photos,etc..if not how to vote for you? Thank you.
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*CLAP*CLAP*CLAP*CLAP*
nicely done mon ami.Touche.
if any of the opps say the things you’ve written,surely it will hit a high note amongst the masses.
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I will vote for you on one condition, and the condition is this, you gather some friends of yours, contest for all Seats, contest for all Group Representation Constituencies, contest for all Single Member Constituencies.
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Err is this a joke?
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I won’t vote for you.
I won’t vote for you because you don’t seem to have a passion to make changes in Singapore. Apart from the obvious fact that you would be committing to this job full time, what more can you offer?
In my opinion, if you can’t represent us to make the difference, then why represent us at all? You don’t have to be an elite, you just have to be passionate to see a change happen in your term.
If you’re in it for the money, find another industry to pay your debts.
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From the Wiki:
3. 1. 6. Remuneration and pensions
MPs receive a monthly allowance, [85] a non-pensionable annual allowance (commonly known as the 13th month pay), and an annual variable component that is paid in July and December each year. [86] The monthly allowance is 56% of the salary of an Administrative Service officer at the SR9 grade – the entry grade for Singapore’s top civil servants – which is itself at the salary of the 15th person aged 32 years from six professions: banking, law, engineering, accountancy, multinational companies and local manufacturers. In 1995, the monthly allowance was S$8,375 ($100,500 per year). [87] The allowance was revised in 2000 to $11,900 ($142,800 per year). [88] In 2007 it was announced that civil service salaries had lagged behind those in the private sector and required revision. MPs’ salaries were therefore increased in phases. In 2007 the monthly allowance was revised to $13,200, raising the annual sum to $158,400. A gross domestic product (GDP) bonus payable to civil servants was also extended to MPs to link their annual remuneration to the state of the economy. They would receive no bonus if GDP growth was 2% or less, one month’s bonus if the GDP grew at 5%, and up to two months’ bonus if the GDP growth reached or exceeded 8%. MPs’ allowances to engage legislative and secretarial assistants were also increased from $1,000 to $1,300 and from $350 to $500 respectively. [87] With effect from January 2008, each MP received another increase of his or her allowance package to $13,170 a month, bringing it to $225,000 per year. [89]
Persons who have reached the age of 50 years and retired as MPs and who have served in this capacity for not less than nine years may be granted a pension for the rest of their lives. The annual amount payable is 1⁄30 of the person’s highest annual salary for every completed year of service and 1⁄360 for every uncompleted year, up to a ceiling of two-thirds of the Member’s annual salary. [90] No person has an absolute right to compensation for past services or to any pension or gratuity, and the President may reduce or withhold pensions and gratuities upon an MP’s conviction for corruption. [91]
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I dare say that MPs can survive and quite comfortably so on MP allowance of S$225,000 per year. With this sum, it also attract jokers (Mah Bow Tan), clowns (Lim Swee Say) and charlatans, forecasters & fortune tellers (MM LKY?).
And if they are made Ministers, of course it is better winning the Singapore Big Sweep – 5 years at S$3 million a year = cool S$ 15 Million!!! No exams, no tests, no peer pressures, no performance tests, no competence tests and can boh-chap for 5 years of hiatus.
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You are definitely better then the current TRAITORS selling us to foreigners.
For me I don’t believe in elite anymore, they do not understand ordinary citizens like us.
Those traitors only work less then a week ( appear on meet the people and national day dinner) for us, some for foreigners.
Traitors can not be trusted anymore….vote true Singaporeans in
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Sure. No problem. You understand what being an MP means. Not like some jokers we have now
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Regardless of whether you do a good job, (I hope you do but if you don’t you’ll be kicked out in due time), I’ll vote for you for the sake of the future (not Singapore’s future in the next four years but for the next 100 years).
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YOU GET MY VOTE.
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You forgot to add the tryst at back of the taxi cab with your wife (an Ah Beng driver could recollect in crystal clear terms after 22 years) as well as the 25 cents extra that you claimed in your expense claim, apart from stolen (pardon me….forgot to return) chalk and erasers at an advanced age of 4 in your pre-school). Please make sure you air your dirty laundry in front of daft and spurs stuck in the posterior Singaporeans (ahem…..ball carrying PaPies) and I’ll even contribute towards retiring your deposit debts……
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sounds good! you’ll have my vote because your heart is in the right place.
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You have my vote/s.
I am turning 55 next year hope they give me 2 votes like LKY had said at the post mortem after JBJ won the Anson Election – 1 man 1 vote is not working well. Come on PAP give me 2 votes please.
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@Sally Ann
Does the current bunch of so called MPs have the passion also ?? What the writer can offer is already much much more than those clowns can offer
@writer , I give you thumbs up ..
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I like the article even though it sounds odd. It’s what I have observed and was written with pragmatism.
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I will vote for you, because, being a non-elite myself, you will be in a better position to understand my problems, and represent me better in Parliament.
Elites do not understand my non-elite problems. They want me to get out of their elite, non-caring faces.
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Voting for you is better than voting for scums who have and will continue to betray their own countrymen for a few percentage points of the GDP.
Go ahead. Join opposition party or stand as independent. You have my vote.
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You have my vote. Anyone standing against the PAP.
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Give MP’s allowance to you is better than the heartless PAP whose motto is “You Die Your Business”.
Anyway most PAP do nothing to earn their allowance. Consider it as a form of goodwill for the elderly in Singapore, we will vote for you.
As an MP you need not speak fantastically, just say whatever you want to say in parliament and nobody can sue you. There will be the town council to help you to look after your estate, you need not worry about a thing.
Go and stand up for yourself and this country since those better candidates are brain dead. Every Tom, Dick or Harry who participate in the forth coming election will surely have a good chance of being elected into parliament so long as they don’t join PAP.
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Satire?
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Any Tom, Dick or Harry is better than PAPies. You have my vote, if you join the Opposition and come to Sembawang GRC. But please don’t come if there is already an opposition contesting here, the last thing we wants is a 3 corner fight which might work work in PAP’s favour.
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Yes I will vote for you but only if you have to have a more solid plan for the future and not just to earn money. If you are looking for money then this is not the right job. I suggest you also join a party like RP, WP or SDP as they have some solid ideas and working as team is always better. You might have the passion but not the know how so you need the help of your team. Do as much as possible and get recognised. We need you!
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Sounds good. No belittling remarks and work full time. Will vote for you if I have the chance. I suggest the party’s name as feedmetothefish like your blog.
I will say that this GE is the best time for would be politians to go for the audition. The odds of losing the deposit is almost zero. If you have nothing to lose, no harm going for the job interview (GE). Maybe investors can bet on the would-be polictians as their managers; sign them up with a contract for 35% of their monthly salary for 5 years and in return pay for their deposit and some propaganda funds.
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Go for it, man!
If u die-die need to raise money to run, I’m sure if u ask, people will donate to help u on ur way.
And YES, I will vote for you.
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This is the biggest crap and the worst article I have ever read.. If by writing an article, you can ganer votes and get elected as an MP, the future of this country is really finished..
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Yes man!I will help you if you want!
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Ha!Ha!Ha!. Very well written. I will definitely vote for you.
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Uncle has my vote 8D
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Awesome!!!!!
I will vote for you!
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You have my vote. Why don’t you ask your family, relatives, friends, pets along and form a GRC?
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I’ll vote for you!!
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You have my vote if I get to vote …
Vote them pappies out … good riddance to bad rubbish
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I always agreed on PAP policy of “we offer 1 chopsticks to help you get pass the day (but not too comfortable so that you will look for a job) and you look for the other chopsticks” this will safegaurd FREELOADERS that become society burden Sucking Leeches”
There are jobs are 60 years old senior, food courts, toliet attendance, changi airport, fast food counters, pump attenance, security guards…etc. Of course you had to be realistic, promotion will as far and little.
Worldtrends around the world for Senior Workers 1)increae in retirement age to 62-65 year old 2) delay for pensioner 3)multiple task jobs 4)less promotion & pay increase 5)expect lower salary
The reason is Shrinking Working Adult Population = Lower amount of tax collection = shortage of money for pensioner. We face a world where Adult are afraid to get married, married couple afraid to have babies prefer dogs and cats, parents prefer 1 child only
If we go into Welfareism, the country will be bankrupt, a fail state
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Aiyah…why so difficult.Why not join force withSDP or SRP or any oppo parties.Its easier.By tour words it shows that u are well educated not like me..;-) Pls do so by all means and I believe many will make a change this coming election.Chai yok…..
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The truth is that whether the generation of english speaking elites are still around or not. Between 2000 and 2006, 25,000 households of the english speaking elites had chosen to abandon the PAP and migrated to advanced countries. The present so called elites are but friends and relatives of the Lee & Lee dynasty. Whether they are elites or not the public can judge for themselves the recent events that has taken place. Singaporeans should ought to the fearful of their future if the PAP is voted in again and again. The Golden era is coming to a close and many Singaporeans will weep their hearts out if the present PAP government is allowed to rule.
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@crap
Hi crap, I reckon you are trying to say “garner votes” and not “ganer votes”.
If better educated and wiser people are willing to be lead by those who were weaker than themselves so be it. Where are the better candidates? Are they waiting for the sedan chairs to come to their door steps and lift them into parliament? At least this guy is making himself available better than those not available.
Lets face it, PAP is not the favorite party in Singapore anymore. People has made up their mind to vote for opposition, this is unchangeable. Of course if those with great academic credential wants to come forward many would be happy to vote them too. If they prefer to play it safe, it may just be too late.
The people will not be interested to look into the papers of a candidate or how many posters he put up. So long as they say they are from the opposition, votes will flow.
Just one article in TR will propone this guy to be a MP, it is possible, why not? Scumdog power heir, the new movie.
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Well, feed-me-to-the-fish, I would vote for you because you have the sincerity, right approach and abilities to do the job.
And abilities here do not need to be proven by paper qualifications because there are other ways (see Bill Gates and Sim Wong Hoo). Neither are they proven by “successes” due to being born rich, being lucky to have good looks, solely due to luck or solely due to connections with the influential (see Obama).
Abilities here are just as what are expected from a manager or director. In most cases, the manager or director is not expected to know everything the team can do but at least know what takes to do the tasks required. Some of these abilities are to be able to set an example on what one should do, to be able to listen to the team, to be able to work out a direction together with the team, to be able to find and apply the right advice from others as well as to be able to learn from mistakes (better than not knowing at all one’s faults and weaknesses).
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You have my vote.
(And you don’t even have to take off your shirt to show me your surgery scar, like Khaw did.)
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Please gather some friends and relatives to join an opposition party or contest a GRC or SMC, you will have my vote.
Even if Ah Meng stands as candidate he’ll get my vote too.
As for those in power now, you’ll also get my vote, when i’m six feet under.
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Ur’s is the thinking that PAP is counting on. Please, i beseech you, anyone that is non-PAP should be good enough given the current deaf, dumb, dumber, arrogant PAP idiots.
The platform here in Singapore is already unfair, given that the mouthpiece all belongs to the PAP.
If you want to hear what people have to say, you have to get some opposition voice in to change the platform first.
Otherwise, your children and your children will be slaves to the HIGHEST PAID MILLIONAIRE MINISTERS IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.
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Here’s a collective slogan for our opposition parties: “It can’t get any worse!”
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6930C920101004
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You don’t have to be an elite to have my vote. So long as you love our country; have compassion for your countrymen and not some traitors who let aliens into our country to benefit their pockets!
I’ll go for the heart, brain can take a back seat!
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The writer of this article is a highly intelligent person, certainly not “bo-takchek” as he described himself. Why did he lie? He is very well educated and schooled, i went to his blog and it was pretty good too. I am very impressed with his excellent and beautiful phrase “I need to stop the madness, the plasticity that’s engulfed Singapore”.. it is very poignant and apt expression summarising singapore’s problem.
I think other than the fact that he need to remove the false humility (he is NOT bo-takchek), he would still need to construct a manifesto. IT is a necessary process to see positive intentions and concrete proposals. Maybe he should partner with Atobe, Lions Roar and a few others.. i understand it is mandatory for political party to submit a handful of people to register.
Worth considering, “feed me to the fish”… also pl provide a proper moniker or real name…
zero
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I have hundreds of 3-tonners load of hockkien ping here who would definitely vote for you.
Pap, knlbccb !!
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the papies has sold us sinkies to the foreigners, its time we all sinkies stand together in one big mass and kick their asses off this island and reclaim our riights.
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Why not you start by telling more about yourself?
I would want a my future leaders to be fearless. Dr. Chee make a good example. If you care about our Nation’s Future, join the opposition and help out from there.
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just stand-in to vote …dun let these dogs in white walk over this time …..we will supports OPPOSITION
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Lets look at the option on the table. If you don’t like how Senior is treated in Singapore, how about moving to another country??? In Europe France want to raise the retirement age to 62 and then 65 years old. The same things is happening in Britian, Spain, Ireland, Greece where Senior pensioners, Early retirement, Senior Medical Care, Senior Enjoy High Salary…is all in the past.
Come on, this is reality you should conclude “this is the worse time to be a Senior Citizens irregardless of your nationality” it is a world trend, if the Opposition Party promise you beautiful things 1)they are load of bulls 2) or they borrow money to bankrupt the country 3) Senior get to enjoy now, push the problems to the next generation with a bigger hole. Anywhere you go is the same treatment if your are a Senior, so changing Political Party will not help either
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Hahaha! well done!
Speech of the century. so innocent and accurate. come to think of it, do we need people with degrees, masters and doctorates to make good MPs? I think most important traits to be 1 is to be able to listen and understand the situation on the ground and have a genuine heart and concern for the constituents. I hardly see that in any of our current PAPAYA Mps. They are all sitting on the Ivory Tower and never really understandin the ground situation. I lived in AMK and have never met any MPs here,not that I want to eet them anyway.
To the contributor/writer, you get my sacred vote!
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the shouts and roars
are just like the last time
and many times before
I am not going be fooled by you guys NOW
because in the end
it will still a good majority of 66.6%
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feedmetothefish:
As long as you do not rubber stamp the PAP’s flawed immigration policy, you will have my vote. I am prepared to vote in any Tom, Dick, and Harry, as well as any “feedmetothefish”, just for having the guts to do it, and the risk of forfeiting the deposit. Of course I do not speak for others, and it is a risk you should weigh.
And I like your part about stealing slippers.
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Of course I will vote you. Even if it’s a corpse running against miw will get my vote.
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Most certainly you will have my vote. I like simple man and not YES man in parliament. Go for it, you are the man.
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this time we must vote for opposition !
no more foreign workers and reduce exsisting foreign workers to 500,000 in 2 yrs time
kick those 3rd world fake foreign trash out
return our cpf saving when we reach 60 , no minimum sum
tackle inflation , lower living cost
provide sufficent housing for singaporeans and lower the housing price to match our income
lowe GST to 4% , provide financial assistance to the poor families
built more road , reduce ERP gantries by half
reduce MP salary by 20% , 50% for ministers , 70% for PM and president , no more special post pls
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I bet you can be a better writer since you are able to “summarise your thoughts using borrow statement customised in your words”….
I can see that through this article, you have already garnered quite a number of votes.
To be more effective, come out with your self-styled agenda, publish and send to your desired constituents and shake many hands in the hawker centres/ door-door visits.
Also show your family side of person you are, we need more kind and dedicated soul like yourself to serve the common Singaporeans, not just looking at the salary per se.
With that, you can have my vote.
Good luck to you….also reveal yourself that you are the one using the “feedmetothefish” moniker. OK !
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Sean Hannity is bigger than CNN:
October 14, 2010 at 8:48 pm
Lets look at the option on the table. If you don’t like how Senior is treated in Singapore, how about moving to another country??? In Europe France want to raise the retirement age to 62 and then 65 years old. The same things is happening in Britian, Spain, Ireland, Greece where Senior pensioners, Early retirement, Senior Medical Care, Senior Enjoy High Salary…is all in the past.
Come on, this is reality you should conclude “this is the worse time to be a Senior Citizens irregardless of your nationality” it is a world trend, if the Opposition Party promise you beautiful things 1)they are load of bulls 2) or they borrow money to bankrupt the country 3) Senior get to enjoy now, push the problems to the next generation with a bigger hole. Anywhere you go is the same treatment if your are a Senior, so changing Political Party will not help either
________________________________________________________________________
don’t use the same old scare tactics again. are our senior citizens worse off than those in usa, uk, spain, greece, ireland? yes.
have you heard taiwan? or are you a deaf frog? old people above 60 years have s$200/month allowance. AND taiwan has universal co-pay health insurance (use to be free healt care, but due to abuses change to co-pay). sg? is taiwan bankrupt?
uk, spain, ireland is bankrupt due to property bubble crash; and the need to bail out failed banks; not welfare. greece problems due to overspending in social welfare, and oversized, overpaid civil service (are our civil serpents overpaid?). not spending on the old, poor and needy.
why these papigs and lackeys have no sense of SHAME but to keep telling lies? anyway, the gic/th billions losses enough to ..
we are not cowards, if you don’t like us, you can move your carcass to another contry, and we won’t miss you- an ungrateful whiner, as most of us have done ns/reservist. THIS OUR CONTRY – we will vote for change!
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my vote’s yours for sure.
@sally ann – this guy’s got more creativity (and humour too) then any of the rubber stamps in parliament right now. try reading the article again. and he understands abt poverty in Singapore. He/she’s all the change we need right now.
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Merdeka Merdeka Merdeka !!! This is the time for MANY of us to shout PAP get out, PAP get lost, PAP FO !!
Merdeka Merdeka Merdeka !! NOW NOW NOW is the time We Ought to VOTE for MORE Opposition MPs. DO NOT DO NOT let the PAP dominate AND Dictate and Be Dictator Forever.
Because of the MANY MANY Mistakes like the
1.Floods,
2.Screwup YOG,
3.Temasek Million $$$ LOSSES,
4.CPF Delayed and Delayed Withdrawals,
5.Housing Shortages,
6.Foreigners Stealing JOBS,
7.Million Dollar Salaries for Useless Ministers who gave Excuses excuses, nothing BUT Excuses – its time to VOTE more Opposition Members !!
Its for OUR FUTURE, Future, Future. Nothing but for the Future.
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You will get my vote too.
My requirement is very simple
They say yes and you say No.
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