GMT : Tue, 06 Dec 2016, 02:52

A new app for sex in small spaces, anyone?

After listening to Josephine Teo’s brilliant and inspiring interview on family planning, I couldn’t help but feel, that makes so much sense! I mean it really is true, you don’t need very much space to have sex!

So I propose that the government launch a new initiative to help all couples out there, by designing an app called “Really Small Spaces Go”. This app is like Pokemon Go, except that it helps couples to locate really small spaces to go do you-know-what in.

With this new iniative, couples will be able to easily to locate a Really Small Space (RSS) at their nearest location, no matter where they are. In order to help facilitate their coital needs, carparks all over Singapore should also introduce Hourly Farking, as this will greatly increase the efficiency of the activities.

This RSS GO app should also offer online visual aids on the various positions to be adopted. It takes great skill to pull of such acts in really tight spaces, and visual aids are definitely required. Experienced couples should also be able to upload and share their experience with other n00b couples aspiring to hit their daily quota of actions in Really Small Spaces.

Really Small Spaces Go should also offer actual incentives for couples to locate as many of these small spaces all over Singapore, as humanly possible. The more active they are, the more rebates they get for their HDB purchases. This will ensure that owning a hdb with just 1K salary is actually humanly possible, and not just a TCSS meesiammaihum urban legend. To prevent misuse, participants must upload proof of their activity for the rebates to be valid.

In order to make sure the app points to spaces big enough to actually fit the couple in, this app must filter out all Buses and MRTs, because the first world transport spaces are so tiny, you can’t even breathe, let alone make babies. Same goes for BTO flat corridors.

The NACBC (National Arts Council Bin Center) should also be excluded, as the $880,000 cost should be indicative that it is only for expatriates exclusively.

With Singapore constantly “creating” stuff that is actually ripped off somewhere, it’s high time that Singapore finally takes the lead in creating a wonderful app that will be copied and utilized by all other countries, don’t you think?

Really Small Spaces GO! Gotta F**K them all!

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*Contributed by Chen GJ.

 

 

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12 Responses to “A new app for sex in small spaces, anyone?”

  • N.Jungne:

    Thank you Chen GJ, your idea is great. But she is actually promoting “SHOTGUN” and Winchester Cathedral marriages as in the Northern Europe.

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  • my $8 heart bypasd:

    Fully agree with the author.That retard J.Teo must be offered the honourable Consultant post.It is, after all, her idea. Great thinking from these million $$$ politicians.

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  • DUCK RICE:

    Here we go again.

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  • The Patriotic Singaporean:

    I hope she is not promoting promiscuity or infertility.

    Office workers can have sex in really small places like toilet cubicles and inside the car when they go lunch then have sex inside the car. Both sides spouses won’t know a thing. Also they save money in hotel rooms and for men they don’t have to pay for prostitutes.

    These kind of extra-martial affairs are happening everyday in offices and workplaces. After the men get the women in office pregnant, both the man and woman can divorce their spouses and marry each other.

    Our government should change the divorce law. Don’t need to wait many years and go through counseling.

    See which man can make which woman pregnant will become the real husband We should encourage extra-marital affairs since our birth rate is so low. One man marry one wife who gives birth to two kids is not enough. He can go office and fucx his female colleagues, get them pregnant and the women’s husband won’t even notice a single thing.

    Wait our government since so desperate for birth rate to go up should change the law, allow men to marry more than one wife! LOL!

    All the above set in satire of course, I am just trying to be sarcastic!

    Enjoy your sex lives!

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  • Cock A Doodle Do:

    Yeah, the suggestion for the new app. is interesting, and couples finding any problems or unable to fit into the spaces, please do not hesitate to consult the expert, the Minister Jo Yeo-oo. Her spokesman, Selvamp R. can also help, because he totally agreed with the Minister opinion.

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  • Maxchewy:

    Yes indeed. The back of the car is the smallest space you can have sex without too much gymnastics.
    No doubt the majority of car-owning Singaporeans have had sex inside their cars esp when they were younger married or not. I’m sure JT must have had several car episodes when she was still being courted. That’s why she instinctively blurted out her now infamous quote of the year. She must have referred to having sex in the car.Both scdf chief Peter Lim and CNB chief Ng boon gay had also done the same from the reports of their trials.

    Of course I’m no different. But I’ve found after a few tries that the most convenient position in the back seat is the WOT position….woman on top. I’m sure this is the preferred style for most lovers corpulating inside their cars.
    Guaranteed the glorious end comes fast for the man. He can do a 2nd act after resting if his partner still not there yet.
    Have fun all you young lovers out there in carparks and produce as many babies as possible for your nation! Preferably males for the SAF…..

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  • changing room? pub toilets?:

    car, van ……… all those convenient small, confine space???? WOW!!!

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  • LIONS:

    maybe JOE TEO plays too much cyber games – SEX in her MOBLIE PHONE during PARLIAMENTARY ‘SEX-sions’???

    electric dreams….?

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  • NotMyProblem:

    Anyone quickly comes up with some merchandise on this “Sex in small space” before Jo Teo applies for patent!!

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  • thebastardPAPparty:

    the farking idiot came up with this, watch too much porn on TV or on a computer.

    Your watch porn you do not need much space
    all the views are all on one spot

    Farking nonsense

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  • use your brain, use your brain:

    The Good Lord gave us a brain, so use it.
    don’t be like animals .
    there’s a time n place for everything.
    stop giving that JT anymore thought. lets not allow her head to swell up …
    useless ministar!

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  • Poor upbringing in miws:

    LIONS:
    maybe JOE TEO plays too much cyber games – SEX in her MOBLIE PHONE during PARLIAMENTARY ‘SEX-sions’???

    electric dreams….?

    Last time we have Palmergate. This time, it may be Joteogate! Keep tuning

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