After listening to Josephine Teo’s brilliant and inspiring interview on family planning, I couldn’t help but feel, that makes so much sense! I mean it really is true, you don’t need very much space to have sex!
So I propose that the government launch a new initiative to help all couples out there, by designing an app called “Really Small Spaces Go”. This app is like Pokemon Go, except that it helps couples to locate really small spaces to go do you-know-what in.
With this new iniative, couples will be able to easily to locate a Really Small Space (RSS) at their nearest location, no matter where they are. In order to help facilitate their coital needs, carparks all over Singapore should also introduce Hourly Farking, as this will greatly increase the efficiency of the activities.
This RSS GO app should also offer online visual aids on the various positions to be adopted. It takes great skill to pull of such acts in really tight spaces, and visual aids are definitely required. Experienced couples should also be able to upload and share their experience with other n00b couples aspiring to hit their daily quota of actions in Really Small Spaces.
Really Small Spaces Go should also offer actual incentives for couples to locate as many of these small spaces all over Singapore, as humanly possible. The more active they are, the more rebates they get for their HDB purchases. This will ensure that owning a hdb with just 1K salary is actually humanly possible, and not just a TCSS meesiammaihum urban legend. To prevent misuse, participants must upload proof of their activity for the rebates to be valid.
In order to make sure the app points to spaces big enough to actually fit the couple in, this app must filter out all Buses and MRTs, because the first world transport spaces are so tiny, you can’t even breathe, let alone make babies. Same goes for BTO flat corridors.
The NACBC (National Arts Council Bin Center) should also be excluded, as the $880,000 cost should be indicative that it is only for expatriates exclusively.
With Singapore constantly “creating” stuff that is actually ripped off somewhere, it’s high time that Singapore finally takes the lead in creating a wonderful app that will be copied and utilized by all other countries, don’t you think?
Really Small Spaces GO! Gotta F**K them all!
*Contributed by Chen GJ.