How many PAPies do you need to change a light bulb?

–One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed.
–One to show a powerpoint presentation on how many other countries don’t even have light bulbs to begin with, and that Singaporeans should be happy with what they have been given due to the far-sighted policies of the Gahmen, and not complain so much.
–One to say that asking for a light bulb to be changed under the present circumstances is planting a poisonous time bomb.
–One to say that asking for a light bulb to be changed shows how soft we are compared to China and India, who are perfectly willing to work in total darkness.
–One to ask a columnist in the Gahmen-linked press to write an editorial on how brave the Gahmen is in querying the necessity of light bulbs.
–One to ask the Gahmen-linked broadcaster to do a news item on “It’s Easy to Live Without Light Bulbs”.
–One to say that the Gahmen had thought of changing the light bulb a long time ago, but due to unpublished data that only they have access to, have decided against it.
–One to suggest that people who believe that light bulbs need changing should stand for election.
–One to commence a defamation suit against the person who, by the very act of suggesting a light bulb needs changing, is sullying the reputation of the entire Cabinet and should pay them millions in damages.
–One to alert the IRAS against the person asking for the light bulb to be changed.
–One to convene a high level committee to revisit the issue of whether a light bulb actually needs changing.
–One to commence police investigations into documentarians and bloggers raising the light bulb issue.
–One to commission the Gahmen-linked film studio to make a film raising the issues of light bulb changing in a light-hearted and non-confrontational manner.
–One to urge the public to “move on” from the light bulb issue.
–One to give a multi-million dollar contract to a GLC to change the light bulb.
–One to give a multi-million dollar contract to another GLC to supply new light bulbs.
–One to ensure the union of light bulb changers falls in step with the NTUC.
–One to spend millions of dollars to take over light bulb companies in other countries
–One to confuse Singaporeans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.
–One to commission a committee to rename the light bulb.
–One to rename it as “Light Bulb” after spending S$1 million on the naming committee.
–One to say that even if we have to change a lightbulb, the cost of a lightbulb is still cheaper than the UK, USA and Japan.
–One to tell everyone that it will take 56 man-year to change one light bulb, so do you still want to change the lightbulb?
–One Minister to mentor all the ministers named above, so that the ‘good values’ are passed down, as advisor.
–One Minister to serve as Senior, to lead and be seen to lead, such as overseeing the purchase of the bulb, going overseas on diplomatic trips instead of having the Prime Minister do it.
–One to blame the public for not taking care of the light bulbs so a fee will be imposed.
–One to commission NUS to research on how too much bright light harms human and their pets.
–One to implement a ELP (Electronic Lighting Pricing) to tax on people who walk under the bulb.
–One to tell the public more lights actually go to the locals (which include citizens and permanent residents), like 55%.
–One to offer shark fin soup to the old folks to make them forget about bulb-changing.
–One to put up a set up a committee and put the proposal for discussion in Parliament over the need to change a lightbub.* The proposal should cover the impact of changing light bulb on the budget, the trade balance, the Singapore dollar, the environment. …
If parliament approves the bill for light-bulb change, then …..One to be appointed Minister of Light Bulb, one to be appointed as MiNister of State (Light Bulb), one to be appointed as 1st Deputy Minister of Light Bulb and one to be appointed as 2nd Deputy Minister of Light Bulb
–One to made it mandatory for all citizens to have their light bulbs changed as well (no CPF, cash please)
–One to instruct the relevant businesses to raise the prices of materials for making the light bulb, which in turn,, jack up the cost to change the light bulbs.
–One to implement a tight deadline for changing the light bulb, and allows the list of authorized contractors to inflate the prices by quantums during the last few days before the deadline.
–One to tell us that the cost of lightbulbs that is installed in every household is heavily subsidized (by market subsidy)
–One to peg the price of lightbulbs to the cost of oil to justify both an increase in the price of the lightbulb and the price of electricity.
–One to announce a package relief for lower income household who could not really afford lightbulbs to win votes during an election.
–One to bring the issue of the increase in the price of lightbulbs to parliament and pretend his or her indignation.
–One Prime Minister to break his word that prices of lightbulb will never see an increase in price after the election.
–One to tell the public that, the public is getting a bargain for the change of lightbulb by ministers.
–One Senior Minister to justify all the ministers good work must come with an increase in their salary.

 

Observer

 

 

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24 Responses to “How many PAPies do you need to change a light bulb?”

  • oxygen:

    PAPpys AR USELESS LOT – reduced to a meandering river of endless lies, scams and deception. PAPpyanus news supporting them strongly behind with 1% truth, 99% lies, fantasy and propaganda.

    BOTH NEVER FAILS of these achievements.

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  • N.Jungne:

    Have you heard of an illustration of “One Coolie, 10 Mandors (Supervisors)? It is like this, end up the Coolie lan-lan suck thummb, the Credits gone to the Mandors for doing good job.

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  • How many IB?:

    How many IB to defend the light bulbs?

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  • Cat King:

    Blue Suede Shoes

    Well, it’s one for the money,
    Two for the show,
    Three to get ready,
    Now go, cat, go…

    Elvis Presley

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  • Hawking Eye:

    Among the many PAP “do’s” Observer has listed, I like the following three best:

    One to alert the IRAS against the person asking for the light bulb to be changed.

    One to commence police investigations into documentarians and bloggers raising the light bulb issue.

    One to implement a ELP (Electronic Lighting Pricing) to tax on people who walk under the bulb.

    The first two look very familiar as I have heard from public gossips that such methods have been used against select political adversaries to signal them to lie low or flee the country, if they must.

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  • RDB:

    And LHL PM said his PAP government takes care of you Singaporeans you know.

    He the Ahsia Kia from cradle to now as PM3 established for him by his apapa with job for life. Is to ensure he will never be jobless after apapa is gone forever.

    And so with his life and career planed and established for him, can he know the reality sufferings of the lower 30% of Singaporeans? Let alone know the lower 15% or so struggling with ever increasing COL by him in the last 13 years? Talk is cheap!

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  • Change of Gahmen leh?:

    And how many Sgreans does it take to replace that darn harmful LIGHTning Bolt party?

    - One eligible voter one vote for the oppositions would ground the lightning, and Sg & sgreans would be protected from the harming effects of the lightning party!

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  • Perspective:

    Over-bloated and over-paid bureaucracies. Too many layers from top down. The people at the bottom do the work, the people at the top get the rewards and credit. When things go wrong, people below get the blame, the people at the top still get the rewards.

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  • U forget personal tuition:

    You forget that you need not one but just as u have aforelisted to tuition the peeham of each of the intricacies of the abovesaid. Tuition fees to be replaced by inexpensive tokens serve racially to embrace difficult to understand respect and definition of the race of Teck wah Tonie Mohammed Pucharinay Kapansky Stewart. But the later needs another one to clear the roots under the schedule of another one. Don’t ever forget that u need just as many to stay by with no portfolio just in case the active passive ones are decapacitated. Well it may prove disastrous if the bulb finally is changed for there are too many skeletons to idetify which would take millions man hours, so who stirs up the damn shits. It takes 1300 pages to nail a weasle do u want to chop down the whole world trees to explain what the jiatliaobi changing the bulb.

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  • opposition dude:

    Wah so many ah.

    You need 80++ currently. One to say he wants to change the bulb (guess who?) and the rest to vote yes on it.

    Simple as that lah, really.

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  • New Egg Yoke:

    LOL. Brilliant accurate REALITY of a BS nation ruled by a shameless d**honourable pink ABOMINATION, surrounded by ABERRATIONS. With top heavy with so many BS layers at the top to grease the limp wrist Dowager, there can only be a collapse not soon enough. The END is near. Wait for it !

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  • 陈大婶:

    哇!一大堆荒谬的费话,教主都很能说。

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  • Lye Khuen Way:

    Sadly, the list is not too far fetched. We are becoming the laughing stock of most part of the World now.
    Only territories which are far more authoritarian, more daft than us would look up to us for inspiration.

    The latest news about LTA and SMRT setting up a committee to look into “floods” is most comical.
    I read it as another excuse to offer more jobs for the connected but clueless.

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  • Bapak:

    But when the old hack needed light for his operations, they changed the light bulbssss immediately.

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  • Bapak:

    They should have operated the S$8-heart-by-pass cow in total darkness. Then we will have less one messy department.

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  • Bapak:

    This is clearly shown on AGC’s 1,300 pages submission to LSW on a simply Contempt of Court charge. My God, by the time you finished reading, you forget what is on page 1.

    LSW should hire investigators to find out who pulled the carpet under his feets. I am not surprised if ISD is behind it – reading his private FB posts.

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  • asd:

    Robbers !

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  • pap selected INDIAN president:

    a brilliant piece. so well written. so true.

    it deserves wide circulation. we hope someone is able to alert Mr Xi and Mr Trump about the idiotic political party forming government in Singapore. just to let them know excluding clown from OBOR is right move and no visiting Singapore to give clown anything to boast about is right move.

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    inside is not within 200m. maybe need one to rule when light bulb is in house it is not within 200m of house. WTF.
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

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  • Rabble-rouser:

    LOL! Light bulb jokes aside, when one read the foreign news & the various interesting paradigm articles written by interesting writers, one get *light bulbs* flashing & lighting up.
    Read Following Link: http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-12-04/california-residents-increasingly-ditching-their-massive-tax-bills-and-unaffordable-
    1. S’PORE HAVE CASINOS YET INSISTS ON HIGH TAXATION, DUH?
    QUOTE: “There’s no corporate income tax, no personal income tax…and the regulatory environment is much easier to work with,” Nevada, a [Casino gaming] state that runs on gaming money rather than tax dollars.
    Why then does S’pore who has physical casinos as well as operating gaming stuff like 4-D, Toto & football betting need to collect as much tax monies from the poor overtaxed citizens & the public???
    2. HIGH COST OF HOUSING
    “If housing costs continue to rise, we should expect to see more people leaving high-cost areas”
    [People] get addicted to the ‘large’ salaries they can earn in big cities…[but some begin to...] realize that the purchasing power of your income is far more important that the nominal dollars printed on the front of your paycheck. [Many] had just about enough of excessive home prices, unaffordable rents, crushing personal and corporate tax rates, overly burdensome regulations, polluted air, [congestion] etc. and are increasingly leaving for a better life. Doesn’t that sound familiar with S’pore?
    High price of homes is a harbinger of impending doom & economic collapse for the future. Smart people are looking for a ‘Better Life’ not being a Debt Serf to a physical asset for a large portion of their working life. If people leave a high cost area for a lower cost area, then whose going to buy those high priced homes? Have anyone really thought of that?
    Bring on those PAP IBs whose going to paint black my ‘light bulbs’ statements – re: negative ‘thumbs down’ ratings & one line dissing statements. Where are you Mr. Chameleon?

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  • MusicalChair - Play along???:

    Rabble-rouser:
    . . .
    High price of homes is a harbinger of impending doom & economic collapse for the future.
    Smart people are looking for a ‘Better Life’ not being a Debt Serf to a physical asset for a large portion of their working life.

    Very true !

    Q1 – Are the current AristoCATs leading SG to be Smart? or,

    Q2 – Are the current AristoCATs lulling SG to chase the Cs with more debts?
    -

    In 2008, there was another “Prince” who made the following statement –
    “But as long as the music is playing, you’ve got to get up and dance.
    We’re still dancing”
    Chuck Prince CEO of CitiGroup.
    -
    In 2008 financial crisis, CitiGroup was saddled w bad loans –
    2006 market value $277b
    2009 market value $6b – very ouch !
    -
    Where is Leadership when we need it ???

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  • Addition is not the solution:

    Read about KBW setting up a committee re avoiding flooding in tunnels..today’s news.
    Adding n adding more personnel is not the solution.
    Next they’ll set up anothet committee to find out why that new committee couldnt accomplish the task they were assigned to.
    Hilariously absurd.
    So who gonna pay all these committees that these jlbs are setting up all over the shop? Just squeeze more n more from the peasants?

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  • Neo:

    Huh…change what light bulb? Got light bulb in the first place meh? The light bulb is just an imagination.

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  • Hacken:

    Rabble-rouser:
    2. HIGH COST OF HOUSING
    Smart people are looking for a ‘Better Life’ not being a Debt Serf to a physical asset for a large portion of their working life. If people leave a high cost area for a lower cost area, then whose going to buy those high priced homes? Have anyone really thought of that?

    For now… yes. Those en-bloc owners from freehold condos/HUDC will be rushing in to find replacement homes by this year-end. Most are wary of Governmental interventions next year and developers are also taking stock. That’s the reason why the property market may seem robust & buoyant now. Next year we’ll see a real crunch when this ‘frantic pool’ is depleted.

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  • NotMyProblem:

    @Observer; You have forgotten;

    Light bulb changing only happens once in every 50 years.

    Some light bulbs can only be changed if it is in the radius of 200M but not within 200M.

    When the same type of light bulb was used for 5 terms it would be decided by Parliament as to how to count the 5 terms. When filament bulbs were used for 5 terms and need to change to LED, half LED can be counted as filament. (Don’t ask me to explain please).

    If light bulb is to be changed by a minority race and reserved only for Malay, sometime an Indian can pretend to be Malay.

    When a light bulb was not working as it should be, like consuming too much power. It could be self declares there was nothing wrong with the light bulb and no abuse of power consumption.

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